I'm so medicated

I'm not the same person I used to be

It's weird now. the inside of my head was like a tornado. just a non stop storm filled with emotions and too much thoughts. I always imagined piercing my head and watching an inky flow of chaos pour out.

[insert laminar flow gif here]

Therapy is supposed to be a good thing, right? Seeing a psychiatrist, great? Having medication and being in group therapy, awesome?

Why does it feel like I lost me?

I didn't just lose me... I lost what made me special

I used to really feel... like people I love actually liked talking to me. I could understand them, I could feel what they feel and be a comforting person...

What changed? I mean, it's a good thing right? Everyone is living well now, and my emotional support isn't that needed as much now...

But why do I feel so empty?

Unneeded maybe...

My emotions aren't as intense as they once were...

Like the colour in my life isn't vivid anymore.

Then I think...

There's a lot of "I statements" here? Why? Why is it always about me. What about YOU?

Why don't I think about YOU anymore? Ever since I was little I remember talking to YOU in my head... Like that internal monologue, except it wasn't a monologue. It was more like addressing an audience or an... imaginary friend?

There might be something seriously wrong with me... but I do hope YOU are okay...

I miss YOU