Some Random Thoughts...

I want my website to be like a digital copy of my brain. Like a museum with my thoughts and personality framed up on the walls.

I also want to share it with the people closest to me, because I'm horrible at expressing myself. Plus I feel like a burden everytime I try to...

I don't know what the hell my problem is...

Do you ever feel like you're writing just for the sake of writing? Like is that even productive? Is it practice? Who knows... I don't. I don't know anything.

I have social anxiety. It's not me and not a part of my personality. It's just a shitty problem that I have to struggle with until I don't anymore. The other day I found myself at my local bar. I drank, and got talkative. When it was time for me to leave, I said goodbye to everyone around me. Pretty much everyone at the bar at the time. This guy who is a regular then told me not to talk to his girl... I apologized and kept it moving. All I had done was say goodbye. Usually I would ruminate on this, and think that I was out of line for talking to strangers... but this time I thought that guy was being weird. I wonder if I was the weird one...

Life on pause

Life really doesn't have a pause button. Like time really does wait for no one.

When I have some kind of issue or I'm anxious/depressed I often sleep on it. I act like everytime I sleep, time will pause. I'll get to dream and I love to dream. When I dream I sometimes get to see the people I want to be around, but time and space keeps us seperated.

But life continues for everyone while I'm asleep chasing dreams. Seriously, I might be sleeping my life away. How is anyone supposed to get to know me or how am I supposed to get to know anyone if I'm trying to simulate life in my mind?