3 AM

It's 3 AM.

No one is awake.

I can only hear the buzzing of the fluorescent lighting here in the pink room and the clicking of the keyboard as I type this.

It's so silent here. Everyone is asleep. There's a fresh blanket of snow outside. It's cold.

I'm wide awake. Me and my thoughts. Alone. This is always my worst battle. I truly am my own worst enemy.

There's a swirling of emotions and thoughts happening inside my thick skull. It's so hard to point out just one of those things and put all my focus on it.

There's some anger there. Anger at someone who doesn't deserve it. Anger at someone who was always there for me. They're focusing on their own life and chasing their dreams. Why can't I be happy for them? Am I really angry at myself?

I'm looking at another thought now. It's the thought that I should channel these feelings into something creative. Should... Could... Can... I can channel these feelings into something creative. It doesn't even have to be something creative. Something I'm passionate about.

Instead of feeling so down because other people are living their lives. I can live mine. I can be the person that I wish I had.

There's another thought. It's that all of this is so corny. What's corny about it? It's helping me. It's not harming anyone. I'm doing this for me.There's another thought. It's that all of this is so corny. What's corny about it? It's helping me. It's not harming anyone. I'm doing this for me.

Here's another thought. It kinda forced its way in here. My emotions are valid. I shouldn't try to suppress them or hide from them. I should try to understand why I'm feeling them. I'm not mad at the person I mentioned before. I'm stressed out and taking it out on her. I'm wrong for that.

A new thought just came in: "Reflections." That's what I want to call my journal.